🎓 The First Definition of Success: A Degree and a Career

My first experience living abroad was when I pursued higher education. At the time, I measured “success” in a very straightforward way: earn my degree and return home with a graduation certificate. If I could land a good job with my degree, even better. That would be the full package.

And I did it. After two years of studying, I graduated and eventually secured a stable job back in Indonesia. It wasn’t all smooth sailing—job hunting had its own hurdles—but I managed to apply what I had learned and build something I felt proud of. At that point, I genuinely felt accomplished. Balanced. Successful.

🇲🇽 Moving to Mexico: Rewriting the Rules

Then life changed direction. I married a Mexican and moved to Mexico, leaving behind the job I had worked so hard to get. I resigned with a mix of excitement and fear, mentally preparing myself for a new chapter where I might feel like a “freeloader” for a while.

So I sought something—anything—that would help me feel that tiny spark of achievement again. I turned to cooking, and I poured energy into my Spanish class. I began to enjoy both, and over time, these little wins helped me feel fulfilled again. In a small but meaningful way, I had redefined success once more.

👶 Motherhood and the Social Media Trap

But then motherhood came. And suddenly, I couldn’t find the right definition of what success looked like anymore. I was doing my best, but when I scrolled through Instagram and saw perfect moms with their beautifully dressed kids, colorful meals, and endless creative sensory play ideas, I felt like I was falling behind.

I didn’t have time to prepare those picture-perfect meals. I didn’t always dress up my daughter—or myself, for that matter. There were days when I felt like I was failing, not completely, but definitely not winning. I wasn’t that polished version of “mom” that social media loves to show.

🍲 When Reality (and Digestive Issues) Hit

When we later moved back to Indonesia, I tried to keep things consistent for my daughter. I stocked her favorite meals, even if that meant sticking to just 2–3 variations, as long as she was eating.

But reality hit hard. She developed digestion problems from the limited meal variety. That’s when something shifted for me.

It wasn’t about how many times she ate in a day, or if she hit every developmental milestone exactly on schedule. It was about whether I was present. Whether I was emotionally available. Whether I was genuinely happy enough to pass on that positive energy to my family.

💡 What Success Looks Like Now

So no—I no longer measure success in my motherhood journey by external standards. I no longer compare myself to other moms. I’ve realized that what my daughter needs most is not a perfect meal plan or a stylish outfit, but a calm, loving, and emotionally grounded mother.

When I feel overwhelmed, I take a moment for a mental check-out. I remind myself that being a grumpy mom won’t help anyone. I look at my daughter, see that she’s healthy and content, and I know—this is what success looks like now.

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Moving abroad has changed my definition of success again and again. From earning degrees, to learning new languages, to just making it through another day as a mom—every stage taught me something different. And with each new version of success, I grow a little more into the person I’m meant to be.