One of the most common things people say about living abroad is how lonely it can feel. And while I completely understand that experience, I have to admit—loneliness has rarely been part of my journey. Maybe it’s because I’m a self-sufficient person, or because I’ve been lucky to have a strong support system from my closest circle. Or maybe it’s because, somehow, I’ve always found a good community that welcomed me wherever I went.

Finding Community in Every Country

When I first moved to Belgium for my master’s degree, I was immediately embraced by the Indonesian student community. I even joined a choir through the Catholic Indonesian Students group and sang in church every few weeks.

Life back then was already packed with personal struggles, academic demands, and this small but meaningful choir commitment. I simply didn’t have time to feel lonely.

Later, I continued my studies in Portugal and eventually completed my thesis research in Italy. And in both countries, I was fortunate enough to find my little sanctuary—friendships and routines that fulfilled me and made those new places feel more familiar.

My “Trick” for Combating Loneliness

I guess if I had to share my “trick,” it would be this:
Stay busy, find a small community (even one or two friends can be enough), and try to keep a positive outlook.
But hey, maybe you don’t need to take my advice too seriously—after all, I’m someone who almost never really feels lonely. 😄

The Unexpected Welcome in Mexico

A few years after moving to Mexico, my husband and I had a conversation with a señora who had become like family to us. She admitted she was a little worried when she heard he was bringing me to live in Mexico. I didn’t speak the language, and she feared I’d feel isolated.

But things turned out differently. I started chatting with local merchants in the mercado, joined a Spanish class, made new friends, and even participated in events organized by the Indonesian embassy. None of it was carefully planned—it just happened naturally. I guess I’ve always just tried to be open and sincere with the people I meet.

Now That I’m a Mom… Loneliness Looks Different

These days, with my daughter around, loneliness is probably the last thing on my mind. She fills my days completely, and with my husband working from home, I’m rarely alone.

Sure, I’ve had moments—like feeling out of place in certain groups, or getting that “you don’t belong” look from strangers. But honestly? My life is already so full. My brain is always juggling two or three things at once. I simply don’t have the energy to dwell on that kind of negativity.

I choose to focus my energy on what truly matters: the wellbeing of my family, and on constantly learning and improving myself.

So, What’s My Takeaway?

Maybe I’m not the best person to give advice on how to deal with loneliness abroad. But maybe my story offers something useful—coming from someone who, despite moving to multiple countries and restarting life more than once, has rarely felt truly alone.

Sometimes, the best way to make peace with loneliness is to stop chasing “home” as a place, and start building it wherever you are—with presence, purpose, and a little bit of courage to connect.