Moving countries with a child isn’t just about paperwork or flights — it’s about helping a little soul find peace in a new place.

When we moved to Spain, our daughter was just four. She was born in Mexico to a Mexican dad and an Indonesian mom (me), spent her toddler years in Indonesia, and then found herself in another brand new land. But by then, we had learned a crucial lesson: you don’t just pack bags — you carry your emotional state with you too.

And little kids? They carry it even more.

We Didn’t Always Prioritize Emotional Health

To be honest, emotional health wasn’t really a big deal in our family — not until life in Indonesia hit us hard.

At one point, I was juggling a very demanding project. I’d spend 3 hours on the road just to get to work, and do this a couple of times a week. My husband, on the other hand, was working on US time, staying up till dawn. We were running on empty. Meanwhile, our toddler — like most kids — was full of life and energy.

And one day, it all came to a head.

She needed to go to the bathroom. I was deep in work mode, completely zoned out, and didn’t notice. By the time I realized, she had already peed on the floor… and I screamed. But then I looked at her face. She wasn’t just upset — she was scared of me. That moment broke something open in me.

She hadn’t asked for help because she knew I was too overwhelmed.

That’s when I knew I needed help. Not just for her, but for myself. I sought out psychological support. I quit my job. I cleared space — emotionally and physically — to prepare both of us for the next big transition: moving to Spain.

Looking back, I realized that when we moved from Mexico to Indonesia, we were emotionally exhausted. We didn’t prepare well, and we paid for it. This time, we were more intentional. We made better plans. We booked a family consultation ahead of the move. We treated our emotional health like it mattered — because it does.

Emotions First, Always

In Spain, the transition wasn’t smooth at first. She was quiet in class for weeks. It took nearly two months before she began opening up and engaging fully with her teacher.

But this time, we were watching closely — not just for academic signs, but emotional ones too. We didn’t pressure her. We gave her space to feel, to retreat, to take it one slow step at a time. Because we finally understood: kids don’t need perfect. They need presence.

Peace Starts With Us

One thing I’ve learned the hard way? My daughter absorbs my emotions. The more grounded and peaceful I am, the more secure she feels. So in this move, I did my best to model calm. To not spiral. To rest. To ask for help. She may not fully understand the sacrifices or stress — but she feels the peace.

And that matters more than anything I could say.

We Made Her Part of the Journey

Another thing we did differently: we involved her.

We explained (in her language) why we were moving. That she’d see her cousins less, and we couldn’t bring all the toys. That some things would be hard — but we’d do them together. Maybe she didn’t grasp everything, but she felt respected. Included. Not just a “tag-along” — but part of the team.

Stability Through Little Things

When everything changes, some things need to stay the same. For us, that meant routines: bedtime stories, meals I knew she loved, dad-and-daughter drawing time. She could count on us showing up the same way — every day.

In a world that kept shifting, we stayed steady.

Emotional Support is Ongoing, Not One-and-Done

Now she’s thriving. She picked up Catalan like a sponge. She plays at the park like she’s always lived here. But I know that came from months of quiet healing — from feeling safe first, before trying to belong.

We didn’t “fix” her transition. We honored it.

Your Peace Helps Theirs

If you’re preparing for a big move with a child, here’s what I’d say: prioritize their emotional health — and yours too. Don’t just prepare the logistics. Prepare your hearts. The more present you can be, the more secure they’ll feel.

It won’t always be easy. But when you create space for connection, understanding, and gentle transitions — you’ll be amazed at how resilient they truly are.

💛 And if no one told you this yet — you’re doing better than you think.