Long before I met my husband and moved to Mexico to build our family, I had already been a bit of a wanderer. I left home at 15 to study at a boarding school, then hopped from one city to another in Indonesia — renting dorms while studying and working. When I was 25, I chased my biggest dream: earning a master’s degree in Europe. I took part in the Erasmus Mundus program, which meant living in Belgium, Portugal, and Italy over two years. So technically, living abroad isn’t new for me. Mentally, I was prepared. Realistically, I knew what to expect.

But here’s what I didn’t expect: how different it would feel moving as a family — with a toddler in tow. That changes everything.

Despite all my experience, I still found myself facing moments that hit harder than I anticipated. I’ll save the details of the paperwork and logistics for another day. Today, I want to share five seemingly trivial things that no one really talks about — things I wish someone had told me before the move.

1. Letting Go of Memories, Favorite Places, and Friend Circles

Mexico holds a special place in my heart. It’s where I became a mother — something no class or book could have prepared me for. Like many moms, I wanted to keep my daughter’s baby clothes and tiny keepsakes. But we couldn’t bring everything when we moved to Indonesia. We didn’t hire a moving company — we had no semi-permanent place to send things to, and we had to vacate our rented home.

If only I had known how much I’d have to leave behind, I would have taken more pictures, more videos — anything to capture those memories for my daughter.

There were the little things, too — like our favorite pizza place in Querétaro that served guanciale-topped slices. We haven’t found anything quite like it since. And the familiar aisles of the supermarket that somehow stocked all the international ingredients we needed for our home cooking. It’s not just the taste you miss — it’s the feeling, the vibe, the comfort.

I didn’t just make friends in Mexico. I made family. From the mercado vendors who greeted me with warm smiles to coworkers who became coffee buddies, and a small Indonesian community that made me feel at home — they were all part of our everyday life. And saying goodbye, once again, never gets easier. No matter how often I do it, it still stings.

2. Expecting Trade-Offs

Eventually, we had built a pretty comfortable life. We weren’t born into wealthy families, but we worked hard to create stability for our daughter. I remember telling my husband, “Growing up, eating out was a luxury — now we can do it anytime we feel like it.”

We also had our car, our routines, our little wins.

But when we moved to Spain, those comforts had to take a back seat. We stuck to home-cooked meals during the first few months while dealing with deposits and Spain’s rental housing crisis. We had to start from scratch to get new driving licenses. Until then, it was buses, bikes, and long walks.

It was different — but not bad. Just part of the trade-off.

3. Creating a Sense of “Home” for My Daughter

Our daughter has lived in nine different homes and apartments due to the nature of our family adventure. I like to think that as long as she knows her parents are always there, she’ll feel secure. But I can’t lie — sometimes I wonder if she’ll grow up without a deep attachment to a place.

Is that a bad thing? I don’t know yet.

So for now, I focus on what I can give her: our little routines, warm meals from Mama’s kitchen, and endless reassurance that we’re her home — wherever we are.

4. Forgetting How to Just Live

This one hit me in Spain. I’d drop my daughter off at school, walk by cafés full of people chatting and enjoying their mornings, and think, “We should do that more.”

But then I’d rush home to my to-do list — writing, cleaning, cooking, organizing. Everything except living.

I didn’t even realize how stuck in survival mode I was until that quiet morning walk. So this is my reminder to myself — and maybe to you, too — it’s okay to say yes to a spontaneous coffee date. It’s okay if the takeout budget goes a little over this month. Life isn’t only about checking things off a list.

5. Growing Stronger, Adapting Faster… but Struggling to Reconnect

All the moving has taught me to be strong and resilient in the face of change. I talk with my husband constantly, ensuring we are on the same page and supporting each other through the challenges that come with relocation. Through honest dialogue and understanding, we cultivate a bond that helps us navigate the ups and downs together. Additionally, I make it a priority to have open conversations with our daughter, encouraging her to express her feelings and thoughts. This way, we can make sure she’s okay and feels secure in her environment. Our family unit feels solid and safe, providing a welcoming haven for us all to grow and thrive, no matter where we find ourselves.

But outside that bubble? I’m still learning how to connect again.

At birthday parties, I often find myself standing in the corner — not quite ready to open up. I have so many stories to tell, but something inside me holds back. Maybe it’s fatigue. Maybe it’s self-protection. Maybe I’m just not ready.

I’m working on that part.

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So… why share this?

Behind every pretty photo of a new adventure abroad, there’s a quieter side. Most people don’t talk about this — especially when you’re moving with a family. These are the five things I wish someone had told me sooner. Not to scare me off, but to prepare my heart a little better. If you’re planning a big move with your loved ones — or already in the thick of it — I hope this helps you feel seen, less alone, and a bit more ready for what’s ahead. 💛